Leaving the Mountain

Law of Attraction and Heart Consciousness

2012-02-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

The mind is a powerful magnet. We can use it to attract whatever we want if we align our feelings with whatever we want, vibrate with the energy of having it already in our possession, giving thanks in advance. These are all wonderful techniques, but often I wonder: is that the highest purpose for which this gift was granted?

I can’t help but feel that sometimes no matter how we visualize and try to feel positive, we can’t raise our vibration enough because our desire is coming solely from the mind. And the mind is not what emits the highest frequency. It is the heart. When we ask for money, relationships, happiness, the asking comes because we feel we lack those things. And until we can heal that feeling of lack, we can’t be in that place of love. We can’t be in the heart, truly feeling gratitude for all that we have. We cannot raise our vibration. I believe the healing work is what needs to happen first. And when that happens, then Law of Attraction becomes a game and we as children playing with it.

I believe the highest purpose for this Law (which I consider to be only one of many more laws which exist in the Universe, with LOVE being the root of them all), is to use this gift to ask from the heart. To be in a place of service to the world. To use Attraction and raised vibrations to bring healing to ourselves; and as we heal ourselves, we are able to magnetize and create ever grander visions of the world in which we choose to live. In a sense, we are healing the world. We are raising our consciousness, and that of the world.

Do you want the Law of Attraction to work in your life? Look in your heart first. See what is limiting you. Heal those aspects (fears, worries, judgments, beliefs, limitations, etc.). Accept them as part of you who you are. Forgive yourself for attracting them in the first place, for having them within you. Forgive yourself for not having known any other way to respond, or think, or feel in those situations that created and contributed to those fears. Love those fears, prejudices, limitations. Love yourself exactly the way you are.

Because Divinity already sees you that way, as a beloved creation. And through the eyes of Divinity, you already have all that you seek. You are Divine.

"Walking for peace - an inner journey" has been nominated by Dan Poynter's Global eBook Awards

2012-01-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

We have just learned that our book has been nominated by Dan Poynter's Global eBook Awards for best novel in the Non-Fiction/Memoir and New Age categories! We are so excited about the news, and think the book has a great chance of making it as a Finalist and even a Winner.

For those of you who have already read the book, THANK YOU. Many of you have sent us your comments telling us how much yo ...u’ve enjoyed it and how it has touched you. Those comments mean a lot to us, for they mean that this book is fulfilling the highest purpose we had for it, which is to touch the heart of its reader.

Now, we ask you to do us a favour: if you bought your book online, can you please go to that site (amazon.ca, amazon.com, chapters.ca, etc.), leave a comment there and click on the “Like” button? Even if you bought your book in a store or from us directly, we would appreciate you leaving those comments on any (or all!) of those sites. You can also Like our Facebook Page, and leave us your comments here.

Thank you again for all your support!

Mony and Alberto

Santa has arrived!

2011-12-24T11:27:00.000-08:00

This morning, at 7:30 to be exact, our 8-year-old daughter Sylvana jumped into our bed to remind us that it was indeed Christmas Eve. I had told her the night before that Santa Claus had asked us to do a small job for him – to buy some food for some of the families that may at this moment have less than us. We thought it would be a good way to introduce her to the idea of putting the spirit of Santa Claus (love) into action by giving like he does, from the heart.

“I’m too tired, I don’t feel like it, it’s too cold…” she began to complain.

So as we all lay there in our bed, Alberto and I tried to explain the meaning of giving with love.

“It makes you feel good when you give from the heart,” I said. “You feel warm from the inside out. You feel like your whole body wants to smile.”

“When we give a gift, honey,” Alberto added, “we add a touch of magic to it. We add the spirit of the love that moved us to give to the gift, so that the people receiving it will feel that love and magic too.”

She started to get grumpy then, and to cover her head.

“You know, a gift of love doesn’t have to be material,” I added. “Remember when you finished that friendship bracelet for your friend because she didn’t know how to do it well, and then gave it to her as a gift? That’s giving from the heart.”

“But, but… to give gifts… that is work of Santa and his Elves!” she protested.

“If Santa and his Elves made all the gifts in the world,” interjected Alberto, “no one would feel the love and joy of giving. They also would not feel the love that others put in the gifts that they give us. Santa knows this, Sylvana. When Santa gives us some of that work to do for him, he is giving us the best gift that he possibly can, do you understand, cariño? The love that we feel in giving or receiving is the best of gifts.”

“Or,” I added mischievously, beginning to tickle her, “You can give something that every single person would love to receive.” She began to shake her head vigorously.

“Nooooo,” she moaned, “No hugs, no kisses.” As a general rule, our daughter absolutely refuses to give hugs or kisses, unless she feels like initiating them…which is very rarely, much to the chagrin and disgruntlement of family and friends.

Our continual cajoling and explaining only seemed to agitate her more, and we certainly didn’t want to do that to her on Christmas Eve. “We’re not going to force you to do this,” I said. “We only wanted to give you something to think about. When you feel like doing this, at any time, just let us know.”

I stood and got ready to leave. Alberto suddenly calls out, “Mony, Sylvana, come see this!”

I hurried back into our bedroom. He had pulled open the curtains and was greeted by the image that you see here. It was created by the morning frost.

Sylvana’s mouth gaped open when she saw it. No more words were needed. She just left to watch some television, while I left to do the small task that Santa had requested. It felt even more special than it normally does.

Wishing you all the same love and magic that pervades this special time of year.

Santa’s little helpers,

Mony, Alberto and Sylvana (in training)

Our first Podcast in ENGLISH!

2011-12-12T10:44:00.000-08:00

We are so happy to present to you our first (of what we hope are many more!) interview in English. It’s only about 20 minutes long, so we invite you to sit back with a cup of tea, coffee, or glass of wine, and join us HERE. Our thanks to Juan Jose Candon for this interview, and for preparing a beautiful page (below) for us on his website. Thank you Juan Jose!

Podcast #1: Walking for Peace. An Inner Journey

Mony Dojeiji and Alberto Agraso

It’s not your perfection that makes you an angel, Mony, it’s your intention.
Walking for Peace.

Mony Dojeiji and Alberto Agraso are two spiritual seekers who met each other in 2001 while walking along The Path of St. James. To fulfill her destiny, she left behind a successful, though unfulfilling, career at Microsoft Corporation. Similarly, Alberto quit his job at an important insurance company to satisfy his wildest dream: becoming an artist.

A few months after their first encounter, they met again in Germany where he decided to join her new adventure: walking for Peace from Rome to Jerusalem. The book is the faithful account of that journey.

Written in first person, Mony also assumes the role of the narrator. The quest for peace is obviously the main topic: the message they aimed to convey. As the authors put it: “ 'I’m not talking about Mony and Alberto’s message. We’re more like the delivery guys. The message comes from the Universe. The only thing that makes us special is our willingness to do this work.' ”

Their firm determination to bring their purport to fruition was always an allied:“ 'Never underestimate the power of this path you have chosen,' a voice resounded in my mind”. Eventually, after 13 months on the road “The treasure that we had walked all the way to Jerusalem to find was always with us, but we needed to walk all the way to Jerusalem to discover that.”

Looking for peace?

Enjoy a Free Download!

2011-12-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

We are happy to announce that we have created an area on our website that will provide you access to download FREE content that Alberto and I have created such as short stories, tales, illustrations, desktop backgrounds.

The first item is a short story that I wrote in Spanish that was a contest finalist and published in the book "Peregrinas por el Camino de Santiago". It's called "The Way of the Sword", and is prefaced by an original illustration that Alberto created for the story. It's available in English and Spanish.

Simply click here or on the image to sign up and download for free! We will be continually updating this area, and will notify you whenever new content is available. Please feel free to tell your friends and to share this announcement!

ALSO, the e-Book version of our book is now available in the format of your choice (pdf, epub, Kindle mobi, RTF, LRF, Palm Doc and plain text). It's listed for 9.99USD and can be downloaded at: http://www.smashwords.com/b/106033. You can read a free excerpt here as well.

Thank you!

A Special Announcement on this day: Our Book!!!

2011-11-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

It is with unbelievable joy and emotion that we announce the availability of our book Walking for Peace, an inner journey.
We actually began our walk on November 21, 2001, almost ten years ago, and can't think of a more memorable way to mark the occasion.

To read a free excerpt of the book, order it online or download as an e-book, we invite you to visit our new and improved website http://www.walkingforpeace.com/ and click on the book's image. You will notice that it looks a little different. This is thanks to the Herculean effort of Hugh Long at Asgard Studios http://www.asgard-studios.com/ whose enthusiasm, professionalism and knowledge created this site in record time. Thank you, Hugh!

The site will continue to evolve, but for now, contains all the essential elements. If you like it, we'd love for you to Share It and tell all your friends on Facebook as well, where Walking for Peace now has a Facebook page too.

To our Spanish friends, all we can say is that we are looking to publish in Castillian as quickly as possible. We will keep you posted. Until then, you can practice your English… ;-)

We also want to mention that our next communications with you will be coming from monyandalberto@walkingforpeace.com, so please save it so it doesn't go into your Junk folder.

There's so much more that we want to say, but for now, we hope you enjoy the new site and reading the first few chapters of our book. We'd love to hear your comments!

Besitos!

Energies

2011-10-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

At times finding the words to express what is happening on the inner planes is not only difficult but takes time. I need to reflect on the experience, try to give it some meaning, integrate its lesson into my ever-expanding concept of myself. Energies too need words, and words themselves carry energies, and it is to this process that I have been especially dedicated in these last weeks.

So what energies in me are trying to be expressed at this moment? They mostly have to do with authenticity, truth, moving into a place of knowing, to a place of alignment with the highest aspect of myself; that place where my highest wisdom—wisdom garnered through experiences in lifetime after lifetime—resides, in the throne of the highest self.

What is this highest self to which I refer? It is the me that exists beyond body and form, beyond space and time as we know it; the part of me that is eternal and that knows its essence to be Divinity, to be an aspect of God in expression. Some have called this the Higher Self, the inner Master, the Perfected Self, the Christ within, or the Christ Consciousness that dwells within man and of which man is made, but cloaked in physical form.

I’m trying to hear that Self, to know It, to communicate with it…that´s all!

This process has, of course, moved me into interesting territory. I’m not one who sits and meditates often. I prefer to go for a walk or perhaps practice yoga, which to me are also forms of connecting with that Higher aspect of myself. But lately, I have found myself sitting in stillness, usually in the evening after Sylvana has gone to bed, and trying to make that connection. I’m trying to clear my mind of preconceived notions of what that connection may feel like. I do feel a tingling in my fingertips, a warmth that emanates from the heart centre and outwards. I feel relaxed but attentive. I know then that I’m connecting. More and more, I receive thoughts and insights that I could never remember after my meditation, but that now I write down as they come to me. Perhaps I’ll share some of these with you in later entries.

In my most recent meditations, I have entered a state of stillness that I have never encountered before, a stillness of thoughts, of emotions, of being. I felt detached, but not uncaring. On the contrary, there was a certainty and a knowing that all was well. No thoughts entered. No feelings of fatigue or boredom, just a complete presence in the moment, a moment that lasted a long while. And in that moment, everything was perfect.

What I understood then was that this was the state of being I wanted to bring into the world—this connection in every moment with that Higher or Christ aspect of me, and this energy of assuredness and calm that it engendered. That is the energy that heals. That is the energy that creates. And that is the energy that wished to express itself in these days.

Connecting with that inner Master (mastery) and sharing that with the world (service) are what ultimately define my inner journey.

Transformation

2011-10-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

I am writing this brief entry from the park, while I watch Sylvana and her friends push each other on the swings and climb up and down the play structure. The sounds of “you’re it” fill the air, mixed in with their cries and screams, and the sheer joy of being at play. The tree under which I sit has lost most of its leaves, and as I look around, all I see are trees of red, yellow, orange and everything in between. Add a warm, sunny afternoon, and you have the perfect recipe for a happy thanksgiving day.

The autumn, of course, is a time of transformation, where you can see one season making way for another. Perhaps this idea of transformation is on my mind because yesterday we visited a butterfly exhibit at a nearby greenhouse. It was my first time there since my adolescence, and the first time ever for Alberto and Sylvana. What a magical experience! Butterflies large and small, of unimaginable colors and intricate detailing, were flitting around the greenhouse. They glided high and swept low, to land on the innumerable offerings of orange slices, or on a pant leg, a shoulder, a nose; or, in Alberto’s case, his head! They were amazing to watch.

More amazing, however, were people’s reactions around them. The adults especially were fun to watch. The same serious people that lined up to get in were now laughing and screaming with the same delight and glee as their children. Men and women who would normally not speak to each other were showing each other the butterflies they held, and then sharing them with children whose orange slices hadn’t yet attracted a butterfly. It was an energy of joy, one created by Nature’s most fragile and delicate creations. And it was an energy that stayed with us long after we had left.

Joy, playfulness, thankfulness – esential ingredients on this continuing inner journey.

Lucky

2011-09-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

Every so often, especially at this time of year when most people are back to work, I begin to hear, “Oh Mony, you’re so lucky you don’t have to work in an office,” or “you’re so lucky that you stay at home”, or “you’re so lucky that you can do something you like.”

I certainly do feel very thankful for the life that I lead, but has it all been luck? Reflecting on all this, I thought I’d take some time to tell you a little about my life, and let you decide.

I thought I wanted to be a doctor and studied with that intention, until I realized that I wasn’t passionate about being a doctor—that it was what everyone else wanted me to be—and that I was attracted to the business world, especially to business strategy and technology. Against the advice of many well-intentioned people in my life, I decided to get an MBA. I discovered that I loved it, and was eventually hired as a consultant in what was then one of the largest consulting firms in the world.

For several years, I was happy but working ridiculous hours. I also felt I was stagnating, working in an environment that moved very slowly and that did not make allowances for creativity or risk-taking. One day, a colleague mentioned that his brother worked at Microsoft and that they were hiring for many positions. I immediately gave him my résumé. I was a huge fan of Microsoft products on the Macintosh (this was before Windows even existed!). That same week, I received a call from a headhunter for a job opportunity as a seminar presenter. I had a terrible fear of public speaking, and so thought the only way to overcome the fear was to be in a job that depended on my speaking. Yes, I know, I’m a trial-by-fire kind of person. After the interview, I was told that the job was at Microsoft. I wanted to quit my consulting job right away, but it meant taking a cut in pay and benefits. It also meant a drop in prestige because no one back then had heard of Microsoft; but I really wanted to overcome my fear of public speaking. I eventually decided to follow my heart and make that leap. And I’m so glad that I did because I came to love giving presentations and to be considered one of the company’s top presenters in Canada.

Little did I know about stock options! For those who don’t know what they are, they are a company’s way of gaining employee loyalty by giving them shares in the company at discounted prices, essentially making them stakeholders. During the boom years of the software industry, I felt as if this was my reward for having taken the risk to leave my secure consulting job.

I moved around Microsoft a great deal, taking on different marketing and account management roles. I learned from every one of those experiences. But seven years in that frenetic pace also exacted its toll. Not only was I burning out, but I was also going through a profound change. My unexpected divorce had pushed me to explore my spirituality as a means of understanding why it had happened. It was opening me to a perspective about life that I wanted to embrace, but that I couldn’t reconcile with my work life. By then I was working in the head office in the U.S. Although I had a plum job, with international travel, and mostly relationship-building responsibilities, I was unhappy. But how could I walk away from all that money, all that security? And all the opportunities that an international company offered? I would be throwing away my career—one that defined me—and would have to start over. What would I do after I quit? I had none of those answers, but my heart was tugging at me to leave, even as my fears kept pushing me to stay. I eventually left.

A few months later, in 2001, an economic crisis, followed by the 9/11 attacks, would wipe out most stocks. I had left at the right time.

I threw on a backpack, and started traveling, mostly around Egypt and the Mediterranean countries, trying to find that next elusive step in my life. I walked the 800-kilometre Camino to Santiago in northern Spain, and there, received the inspiration to walk the Way of the Soul to Jerusalem for peace. It was also on this Camino that I would fatefully meet Alberto, the man who would share my path in more ways than I could have possibly imagined.

And to those who claim that it’s easy to change when you have no other responsibilities or obligations: until early this year we were living an idyllic life in Spain, within walking distance to the beach and everything that we needed. But we were becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the education our daughter was receiving at her school. We also felt stifled in our desires to pursue our dreams. We opened ourselves to change without knowing what form it would take. We really wanted to live in New York, but could not make it happen, so we let it go. A chance visit to Canada over Christmas opened a door that we could not have anticipated, allowing us to live here with a home, car and furniture given to us, and a great little school within walking distance. The opportunity presented itself, waiting for us to have the courage to grab it. And we’re very glad that we did!

So am I just lucky?

I don’t think so. Every time I have followed my heart—every time I have risked—even when the move didn’t make sense in the beginning, I have been enriched. I believe there’s a longing in the heart of each and every one of us that nudges us in the direction of our dreams. We may not know what they are or what they look like, but we do know that they somehow uplift us and bring us joy. In my case, my desire for change and growth brought about the opportunities; or perhaps more accurately, on a subconscious level, on a soul level, I created the opportunities. I (with the help of my Higher Self, my angels, and the Universe conspiring to bring me closer to joy) brought the opportunities into my existence. But only I had the final choice to act on them.

Some may still call my life the result of luck. I say it is choice that grabbed the chance and made it real.

Peace Week

2011-09-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

I was so proud of myself for not watching any 9/11 coverage. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. Every time I turned on the television, it was tempting to get sucked into the emotion and drama of the tragedy. The human stories were especially difficult to walk away from because these are ordinary people who have been dealt an extraordinary blow. As much as I empathized with their ordeal, I did not wish to drown in the emotions with them. It made it much more difficult for me to stay centred enough to do the healing work within myself, and for this situation.

The day of was especially difficult. I needed to leave the house; but even then, the sadness of it seemed to linger in the air.

I had actually gone for an unexpected walk a day earlier along trails that are near my home. The sun was shining on this spectacular fall day, and leaves were crunching under my feet. A few leaves were starting to change colour, and patches of red, orange and yellow now dotted the mostly green landscape.

How could I not be in a state of thanks and gratitude? How could I not appreciate all that was in my life? That walk felt more a celebration of life than anything else; and the next day, when my daughter Sylvana and husband Alberto joined me along that same path, I couldn’t help but feel that we are given an opportunity to do so much with our lives; and offering the best of ourselves, not only to our loved ones but to all of humanity, is the greatest gift we can offer. This is the work I wish to do.

Today, I received an email announcing Peace Week, a series of events leading up to the International Day of Peace on September 21. I can’t help but feel that this is a reminder for me to continue along this path I have chosen, and to offer my unique brand of peace to the world. I hope you will consider doing the same.

Happy Peace Week!

September 11

2011-09-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

This Sunday marks the tenth anniversary of an event that forever changed our world. It most certainly changed mine.

On that day, I was in Lebanon visiting with my family after the death of my grandmother. I had just finished the Camino in northern Spain a month earlier, walking the 800 kilometres with an intention to find direction in my life, knowing only that I wanted to do something for peace. I had quit my corporate job, thrown on a backpack, and just started traveling. From Egypt to Turkey to Greece to Italy to France…they all hinted at what my life could look like, but it was the Camino that finally defined it. Through a series of incredible coincidences, I decided I would walk for peace along the Way of the Soul, a path more mystical than physical, to Jerusalem.

I felt inspired, ready to start right away. On the Camino, everything seems possible; but away from it, ever so slowly, it all just seemed like one big crazy idea. I mean, come on, a woman walking alone along the side of the road to Jerusalem? As much as my heart was calling me to do it, my fears were equally as loud in stopping me.

So I listened to my fears…until those attacks.

They galvanized me into action; and not because I suddenly had no fears. They were still there, but at that moment, contributing something constructive to peace seemed to me more important than my fears. The fates brought into my path all that I needed to begin walking, including a Spanish man named Alberto, who would join me on this Walk and also forever change my life .

There are so many events going on to commemorate 9/11. One that I especially like is the Walk for Humankind. I considered organizing one here in Ottawa, but the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that yes, I want to walk on that day, but that I want the moments of that walk to be inner-focused. I don’t want to carry banners or shout the message of peace to the world, but rather reconnect with that feeling of peace within me, truly feel it, embrace it, and then once again bring it into my seemingly-mundane, everyday world.

That was perhaps the grandest teaching of my walk to Jerusalem, and one whose nuances and implications I still experiment with. Ultimately, my walk for peace had nothing to do with Jerusalem, and everything to do with what I carried with me and offered to that divided land. That’s why all journeys are sacred, for they all inevitably lead to the same destination: the inner.

I invite you to go on that inner walk that day.

Small Acts, Big Changes

2011-08-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've been in a great mood lately. I can't point to any one thing really, just a general feeling of happiness and connection. And it's not as if I've been sitting around doing nothing. With our recent decision to self-publish the story of our Walk for Peace to coincide with its ten-year anniversary, I find myself in full "project management" mode, trying to find the best print-on-demand option, updating our website and just generally getting ready, after all these years, to finally share with the world what was an influential moment in our lives.

I felt present and appreciative of all things that surrounded me, including some that would normally bring me down such as watching the evening news or hearing endless complaining – they too seemed to have their place in the grand Universal order of things. Perhaps it was because I was in that state that when I passed a young man one afternoon asking for money, I stopped. I usually don't. I reached into my wallet and pulled out a two-dollar coin, not stopping to question whether I was doing the right thing, or if I was truly helping him by giving him money. I simply placed the coin in his hands, looked him in the eyes, and smiled at him, wishing him well. And I meant it. I wished him well on his path, in the highest sense possible, as one more fellow human being on his journey.

That simple small act of giving without judgment made my day, and I decided that I would do something similar the following day. At the grocery store, when I finished with the basket, I left the quarter inside just to surprise the person who found it. It was such a small thing, but just imagining the person's face finding that quarter made me grin for the rest of the day.

Yesterday, I found myself in a traffic jam because of an accident that had just occurred up ahead. I used that time to send healing energy to the people injured, to call on their angels to help them, and to surround those helping them (the ambulance drivers, the firefighters, the policemen) with a protective white light. Again, it just made me feel that I was doing my small part to help them in their path, irrespective of the outcome.

I believe in the power of small acts - a kind word, a genuine smile, an act of forgiveness, a positive thought (or even better, a non-judgmental one, which is often more difficult). Any thought, word or deed that comes from the heart as an expression of who you are and without attachment to, or need for evidence of, the final outcome.

And so now, I find myself thinking of small things I can do, not merely because of how they may help another, but for the more selfish act of how it makes me feel. And the better I feel, the more inspired I feel to do more in a magnificent, ever-expanding vicious circle of unconditional giving and receiving.

For that is how I believe we change the world.

In that sense, I can say I am changing the world.

What a powerful affirmation that is. What a mantra.

And so now, you? How are you feeling? Are you aware of how powerfully that is changing your world?

The Call

2011-08-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I was looking at some of the videos that we have made, and came across this one. Through Alberto's artwork, it represents so much of what he and I believe. I hope you enjoy it and, as always, feel free to share it quoting its source.

BTW, I finally also have some photos from my time at the cottage. If you'd like to see them, I've posted them on my Facebook account: Cottage Photos.

Have a great week!

Healing with Ho'oponopono

2011-07-31T11:19:00.001-07:00

I’m back to writing after a couple of weeks off enjoying a glorious summer at the cottages of family and friends in Ontario and Quebec. I had been missing the beaches of Andalucía, but the lakes, forests and natural beauty that recently surrounded me more than made up for it. I’ll be sure to post some photos soon.

I left off the last entry sharing some of the comments I received regarding “my dilemma”: how to instill in our daughter the feelings of trust and safety without projecting onto her my fears. In the last weeks, I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on the roots of those fears, and could get into a lot of the “why” and “how” they got there; but I’ve done that work, and now wish to move away from them by finally bringing them in, healing and integrating them rather than rejecting them.

In one of my walks alone, along the forested trails near the cottage, I fell into an unexpected meditation. The words “Mony, I love you” came into my mind. I have worked with many healing techniques over the years, mostly with visualizing colours and projecting energies, but what naturally emerged in this case was Ho’oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian healing method. There is no official site for this teaching, but it has been popularized by Dr. Len Hew who has given interviews on the topic. I’ve given some links on the right, but you can also Google his name, along with SITH (Self Identity through Ho’oponopono).

The premise of the teaching is that I am 100% responsible for my creations; that what appears in my world is there because I have put it there, consciously or unconsciously; that thoughts aren’t so much the problem as the emotions, memories and energies that we attach to them; that these energies (such as fear) vibrate within me and attract a like energy through Law of Attraction.

So, to heal the outside, I have to first heal the inside.

I had a hard time with this in the beginning because I saw no end. Does that mean I’m responsible for the earthquakes around the world? For the revolutions? The famines? The droughts? Where does it end?

The teaching would say yes, but I’m not ready to go that far yet. I will tell you that I have applied it to more personal situations and conflicts, and have seen that it works. I have also added my personal lens to this teaching to make it fit my personal philosophy. To me, the difficult experiences that repeat themselves are not here to torture me, but to give me yet another opportunity to heal them. They are my soul’s crying out for liberation from its own self-inflicted pain. They come from the highest place of Love to serve me in my journey of liberation from fears or limits of any kind. The angels, the Masters, God, the Universe, Jesus, Buddha… they all guide me in that journey, bring me those opportunities (which I believe I agreed to before my birth); but the work of healing is mine alone. No one can free me but myself. And Self-love is the greatest liberator.

That is why the first words in Ho’oponopono are “I love you”. You are speaking to yourself. You are giving yourself love. The negative self-talk can go on endlessly, but the moment you can say “I love you” to yourself, as you are with all your perceived failings and flaws, a new energy begins to circulate within you and around you.

As I walked that day, I repeated those words over and again until I began to feel them, not just think them. Then came these words: “I’m not sure where this fear comes from, whether it originated in this lifetime or another; but that doesn’t matter. It’s here. It’s a part of me that I see, that I accept, that I love.”

“Mony, I love you as you are.”

“I’m sorry for whatever has caused this fear. I am sorry for any erroneous or mistaken belief, thought, feeling or emotion within me that manifested in Sylvana standing on the sidewalk by herself that day.”

“Please forgive me.”

“I didn’t know how else to respond. I didn’t know how else to feel or to think. I didn’t know any better. I did the best that I knew how at that moment. But it’s all right. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m bound to make mistakes. When I know better, I’ll do better. Mony, I love you.”

By then, I was crying. This self-forgiveness is the next tenet of the teaching. Again, I’m speaking to myself. I’m not asking God or any power outside of me for forgiveness because God is Love and does not need that I ask for forgiveness. I am loved as I am, period.

I began to feel a compassion for myself then, and saw myself as a child who needed understanding, patience and a great deal of love. I began to soften my stance towards myself, to be less demanding and harsh in my judgments of myself.

“Thank you”. This is the final element of the teaching.

“Thank you to my own Soul, my Higher Self, for showing me this fear. Thank you, fear, for revealing yourself to me. Thank you, Universe, for the opportunity to heal this, to free myself of this weight in my heart, my body, my emotions, my thoughts. Thank you for the opportunity to allow more Light to enter to fill this void. Thank you for the opportunity to soar.”

“I now ask Love to transmute this energy of fear (this limited, erroneous belief about life), to return it to its natural state, which is Light. This Light now permeates every cell of my body, permeates my thoughts, my emotions. I vibrate with this Light. I am this Light. I now cut all ties with those who may have contributed to this fear from the beginning of creation to the end of all time. I am free. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“My inner world is safe and in harmony.”

“In my inner world, all is healed, whole and holy.”

“From my heart, I project this inner harmony and peace to the world.”

“My inner eyes see with a clearer vision than my outer eyes.”

“I trust my inner vision. I trust my inner truth.”

By loving myself, by feeling worthy of that Love, by apologizing to myself for any undesired thought, feeling or action, by forgiving myself for it, and then thanking myself for the opportunity to heal and integrate what has kept me small and in fear, I am finally free to be as grand as I wish to be. I am then the Master and creator of my life.

Whenever I have felt some of the old feelings or thoughts creeping back, I have repeated the key elements, not necessarily word for word or in the same order, but always striving for the feeling of liberation and certainty that I felt the first time.

It’s a technique that’s worked for me. It may work for you if you’re currently facing a difficult situation. If you decide to try it, I’d love to hear your experiences.

Responses to "My Dilemma"

2011-07-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

I’d like to start this entry by saying THANK YOU for sharing your reflections on “my dilemma”. My Spanish readers can click on the Comments section below the entry to read some of these comments directly.

The stories came from men and women, parents with school-age children, one whose children had left home, and several with no children.

The overwhelming message from all of you was “tranquila”, one of my favourite Spanish expressions meaning “Relax”. All will be well. From Melele who has raised three confident, independent women came the comment that what I see in her daughters is the result of both her wise decisions and mistakes along the way; that each and every one of those acts bore fruits of love because love was always her intention for them; and when love is the intention, nothing can turn out badly. Words to live by, and that brought me a lot of comfort. Thank you Melele.

Lesley used the analogy of swimming. When they’re learning to swim, children are always in the company of an adult. As they get more confident, we let them swim farther away but always keeping any eye on them. We teach them water safety, how to respect the water without fearing it; until they are finally able to swim alone. David used the analogy of children climbing a tall play structure for the first time to demonstrate the same thing. We want to teach awareness but not fear.

Or as Ana would say, quoting an Arab proverb – believe in Allah but tie up your camel.

It’s like being between two worlds, adds Alberto, where you are trying to live the vision of the world you wish to have, but occasionally still fall back into your old ways, into your fears. Until you can live with certainty your new vision of the world, tie up your camel!

How can I teach awareness without fear? I liked Consuelo’s suggestion of developing Sylvana’s intuition, which will allow her to better discern situations that make her uncomfortable. Asking Sylvana for example - how does this person make you feel? How do you feel in this situation? Get her to trust in those feelings that we all get and too often dismiss. I had shut down that part of myself my entire life and have had to re-learn how to trust those instincts just as strongly, if not more so, than my mind. So that is something I will definitely work on with Sylvana.

Lucia expanded on that, adding that I must be conscious not to create fears in Sylvana that don’t exist. I hadn’t thought of it that way; that I wasn’t responding to Sylvana’s fears, but projecting my fears onto her. That really helped me shift the focus because those fears are mine to resolve and make peace with - not hers. This was a big learning for me, so thank you Lucia!

I’m not sure where these fears for Sylvana’s safety stem from. I need to reflect more deeply on that, and how to best heal them. I’ve worked with many techniques over the years, and will be sure to share with you the ones that most help me in this situation.

Part of my inner work includes continually reminding myself, and passing on to Sylvana, my belief that people are intrinsically good – and I do believe that, although at times I waffle (an example of my being between two worlds!). People may do things we don’t like or agree with for many reasons - out of ignorance, fear, even mental illness. Thank you Victoria for that reminder. But people are not intrinsically evil – misguided perhaps, unable to envision or imagine grander possibilities for themselves, making poor choices. They live in darkness, which by definition, is the absence of light. But they are still light. I’m not saying I wish to engage those living in darkness, although I have, and know how hard it is to maintain your light in their presence.

I end this entry with the reflection from Tina that we teach through our example, not our words. I couldn’t agree more. And so as I can continue unmasking my fears and healing them, I invite you to do the same. Can you imagine the gift we would be offering our children if we were to succeed in breaking the cycle of fear and showing them parents at peace with themselves and the world they live in?

As always, I welcome your thoughts. You can click on the Comments button below or send me an email.

My Dilemma

2011-06-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

I seem to be referring a lot to experiences with my daughter Sylvana, but lately, they seem to be the ones that are most making me reflect on what I believe.

A few weeks ago, I received a call from Sylvana’s school telling me that she wasn’t feeling well and that I could pick her up at the office. Since the school is nearby, I unhurriedly finished whatever I was doing, and made my way there.

It was a cold, rainy day and as I approached the school, I noticed a girl standing in the rain on the sidewalk near the school. I thought it strange that a child would be waiting there by herself, but was downright horrified when I saw that it was Sylvana!

My entire body went cold with fear as I rushed her into the car, demanding to know what she was doing out there by herself. I didn’t think I was yelling, but her looks of confusion and fear told me I wasn’t handling this situation well. She explained that she went to her classroom to pick up her backpack and was waiting for me near the place where I would normally pick her up. I went to the office where they were just as shocked to hear that Sylvana had gone outside alone. It was all a big misunderstanding, which I explained to Sylvana, adding that there was nothing to worry about and that, in future, she should always wait for me in the office. I tried to tone down the severity in my tone but her serious expression told me she understood the gravity of the situation – and my fears.

For days, the feelings of relief traded places with the feelings of terror as scenes of what could have happened played out in my mind.

So here’s my dilemma…

We want to teach our daughter that she lives in a safe world, one that supports and uplifts her, and that people are there to help her, not hurt her. We believe that we get back from the world what we put into it because that has been our experience, and so are encouraging her to do the same.

But all that flies out the window when I hear about child abductions, or see posters for missing children, or learn about “Code Adam” where all shopping centre doors are closed until a missing child is found.

I feel a greater general fear for Sylvana’s safety here in North America than I ever did in Spain. In our home town of Cadiz, I felt that I belonged to a community where most people knew each other, or at the very least knew that you lived in the area and that your child went to the nearby school. We saw each other at the grocery store, the beach or the plazas. It felt as if we were all looking out for each others’ kids. If one got hurt, more than one parent was usually around to help – or a cousin, an aunt, a grandmother…

And the kids seemed to have a greater level of maturity about them, a sense of confidence from being outside all the time playing with friends, knowing that parents of all kinds were around and they could go to any of them.

I don’t feel that here.

At dinner one night with some girlfriends, I spoke about the incident. They all went on about how they reach out to help any child that they see alone on a bus or at a bus stop. Or they look out to make sure that a kid walking alone gets home all right.

If each person is doing that, if that inherent goodness is there, then why can’t I believe that these same invisible angels will be looking after my own daughter? Or all children out there?

That’s the battle waging within me. That’s the issue I’m trying to make peace with. I now question whether I really believe what I say – that people are inherently good and the world is a safe place - because if I truly did, wouldn’t I just ignore the ugly stuff and reinforce our vision of the world within her?

That’s my husband’s response btw - don’t give your attention to what you don’t want because you’re feeding it, giving it energy. Focus on what you do want and build that. I agree… but why am I having a hard time doing it?

At school, she is learning street safety - not to go with strangers, not to accept any kind of enticement from them, not to get into their cars. This is all great, but I worry that they are instilling fear of the world in her, the feeling that she is living in a dangerous world. If she believes that now, how will she ever believe in all the wondrous possibilities that this world has to offer her? How will she ever believe in the magical? How will she ever appreciate the small miracles which take place around her every day?

I guess what we’re ultimately trying to develop in her is discernment. But how the heck do I do that with a child if I, as an adult, still have a hard time with it?

These are difficult waters to navigate.

What do you all think?

Who I Am Makes a Difference

2011-06-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

It wasn’t a moment I was proud of. I was in a large department store with Sylvana looking for a gift for her to give on Father’s Day which, this year, coincided with my birthday.

There seemed to be no containing Sylvana that day. She was disappearing among the aisles; haphazardly pushing her “sister” (a doll almost as large as she is) around the store, almost knocking displays over; trying to climb into the shopping cart, even when it almost fell over on her more than once. Cajoling and bribery had no effect, and I was quickly losing patience.

“Mom, I’m bored,” she whined. Normally, those words wouldn’t affect me, but that day, they sent me over the edge.

“You’re bored?” I snapped. “Don’t you think I get bored taking you to soccer, to basketball, to swimming? Don’t you think I have other things to do with my time? Don’t you think I’d rather be spending time shopping for my birthday rather than buying something for you to give?”

I’ll never forget the look of utter devastation on her face, as tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “But I already made you a gift, and one for papi. I spent three days making them,” she whispered.

I’m the worst mother in the world, I thought to myself, holding back the tears. I hugged her and apologized over and again, trying to soothe the pain I inflicted. I knelt before her and said, “The gift you have made us is more valuable than anything I can buy here. I’m so sorry. Let’s go home.”

No matter how I tried to forgive myself, to tell myself it was only one incident, that I was only human and made a mistake, I couldn’t shake the image of Sylvana’s distraught face and the tears I had caused. By the time we got home, I felt as if a cloud had settled over my head.

As soon as I walked in the door, Alberto, my husband, came over and without a word, gave me a big hug. How could he know what just happened, I wondered.

When he released me, he placed on my shirt, just above the heart, a blue paper ribbon with the words: Who I am makes a difference.

I just started bawling. He was surprised by my reaction, but I didn’t feel like talking about what happened. He told me to check my email to understand the meaning of the ribbon. You can learn more about this great idea at www.acknowledgmentmovie.com.

But I still didn’t feel appeased. Scrolling down my Inbox, I saw a birthday message from author Mike Dooley which reiterated almost word for word the same message from Alberto. And later, birthday wishes from friends reminding me of the same.

I felt as if the whole Universe conspired to lift me that day, to remind me that sometimes one action does not define who we are. Long ago, I placed myself on a path towards mastery of the Self and its dramas, and of living from a place of love, peace and acceptance. Like all great journeys, at times the smallest misadventure takes us off the path. But all who journey eventually pick themselves up, a little wiser for the experience, dust themselves off and continue towards their destination. We never stop walking. We never stop believing in the journey and the difference it’s making in our lives and in the lives of others.

And Sylvana’s gift to me on my birthday? A six-page illustrated tale she wrote entitled: “The Six Things I Love About My Mom”.

P.S. If you like this entry, feel free to share it! I only ask that you quote its source. Thank you!

Revolutions

2011-06-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

With the winds of change blowing across the world, I began to reflect on what, if anything, I can do. The Arab Spring, the Spanish Revolution – these are words that incite action. But what kind of action? If I sincerely believe that change begins within and that the most important work we can do to change the world is inner work, then what happens to action?

In an email exchange with one of my friends in Spain, I had to answer that. My friend felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of the country’s problems, so much so that she was losing her customary enthusiasm, and giving in to the general belief that she was only one person and nothing she did would change anything.

That was the same argument so many people presented to me when I said I would be walking to Jerusalem for peace.

All I could answer was that walking was the only constructive thing I knew how to do, later adding that to change the world, I first had to change myself.

Of course, many thought I was crazy, to put it mildly. Most thought me an idealist and naïve, not at all pragmatic or realistic. After all, didn’t I watch the news with all their facts and images of what’s really happening? My walking, I was told, would only give them one more target to blow up.

If I had listened, I never would have found the most marvelous gift that I so yearned to carry to Jerusalem – peace.

I didn’t fight the system. I didn’t give in to conspiracy theories. I chose instead to do two things simultaneously and interchangeably: speak about what I believed (peace begins within), and build it within me. I had no master plan for what to do. I didn’t know the answers, and I made many mistakes. But I didn't stop walking. Slowly, I began to realize that the criticisms I made of others I was forced to confront within myself. The judgments I held about others were visited upon me many times over so that I could stop pointing fingers and making accusations. So in the act of trying to build peace in the outer world through walking and talking (i.e. through action), I found myself having to confront the barriers to peace that I held in my inner world.

I share this with you, especially those among you who are fighting against the injustices and the corruption that you see in your worlds. I admire your passion and zeal for change. I especially admire that you are expressing your desires for change peacefully. Since I see the world as a manifestation of what’s happening within me, I now find myself continually asking the following questions - what within me is resisting change? What structures within me, be they mental or emotional, are so rigid that I will defend them to the end? What ways of seeing things, what perspectives, do I refuse to negotiate on, and would rather beat into submission than try to understand and make peace with? If I believe all politicians are corrupt, then I must ask myself, have I never done a corrupt thing in my life? Have I never taken advantage of a situation because I knew I would never get caught? What am I doing to heal those things that I protest against, that I despise, WITHIN MYSELF? Could that change my perspective of those I fight against? Would I then act differently as a consequence?

These are hard questions to answer honestly; and the answers, harder yet to accept within one’s self. But how can we change our perspectives of another if we’re not willing to acknowledge those same aspects within ourselves? That’s why, to me, the hardest work is the work that we do on the inner planes because if we can heal and love those parts of ourselves that are rigid and inflexible, then we are able to do the same in the outer world. And when our inner walls crumble, then the outer walls cannot help but follow suit.

And that is the real revolution.

"You don't fight fire with fire. You fight fire with water." Author unknown.

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The Garden

2011-06-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

This past week I found myself spending more time than usual in our garden. I actually know nothing about gardening, but the house we’re now living in has a large property which has been neglected for too many years. The electric chainsaw, in the capable hands of my husband Alberto, has gotten quite the workout in cutting down branches and trimming trees.

While there’s still a lot of work to be done, the thorn in my side has been the “garden” in front of the house – a crawling vine that has taken over the entire space, allowing only weeds and dandelions to peek through, and the dead trunk of some bush that was cut down but whose roots were never removed. In the winter, under the cover of snow, it was easy to ignore. But now in the full bloom of spring, and having to look at it every time I walked into and out of my home, I had to do something.

With the best intentions, my father came over one day and mowed down the vine. It looked better but I knew the roots were still there. Same for the bush. He hacked away at it and made it smaller but the job wasn’t done. It was then that my personality came through. I spent the day turning over the soil and pulling out the weeds from their roots. The deeper the root system, the more satisfying was its removal.

The bush was more challenging. I couldn’t go under it. I needed to dig around it and remove the soil to expose the root. Brute force didn’t work. So as I contemplated the bush during a break, I realized that I needed help. I was tempted to call Alberto and the chain saw, but then decided to ask for the help of the invisible friends that I felt populated our garden. I guess you could call them nature spirits, fairies, elves. The name didn’t matter so much as the realization that they played a part in the growth and maintenance of all plant life, and so can help in their removal.

I stood in front of the bush, my back to the street so the neighbours wouldn’t think I was crazy. I thanked the bush for providing shelter, nutrients and beauty to this space year after year without fail. I actually felt appreciation for its many qualities. I then asked its permission to remove it, with the help of the nature spirits, so that new life may grow there. I’m not sure where the idea came from, most likely from the books on native teachings I’ve read. When I returned to dig, I seemed to get under the root with more ease. With a little more effort, I removed the bush.

I learned two things that day. First, getting to the root of any negative experiences or emotions in my life is important to me. There are teachings that favour not thinking about the negative, and focusing attention instead on the positive aspects or the desired outcome. I wish I could do that. My mind can’t overcome my emotions. I need to understand why I feel the way I feel and make peace with it. Once I’ve gotten to the root of the problem, then I can clean it up and plant new seeds that I wish to see grow.

Second, in this age of the Law of Attraction, where we are taught that we are 100% responsible for all that occurs in our lives, it reassures me to know that I’m not alone in my spiritual journey. I know I am surrounded by angels, guides who are there to nudge me in the direction of my highest choices. And what are those highest choices? The ones that bring me joy and peace, the ones that come from the heart. I often forget that, and so in my times of confusion, I try to be still and will pull out an angel card from a deck that I own, or randomly grab any book and open it to a page. What I most receive is clarity, and from there I am able to make a decision.

Just before sending you this message, I pulled an angel card because I wasn’t sure about the gardening theme. I pulled out the Archangel Gabriel who, among many things, is the Archangel of resurrection, the one who brings life to that which appears dead, just as nature does each spring.

Much light to all,

Mony

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At the Cemetery

2011-05-27T11:17:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, as I was driving around running errands, Sylvana, my 7-year-old daughter in the back seat, calls out that she wants to go visit the tomb of my mother - NOW.

Many of you know that my Mom died shortly before Sylvana was born. I’ve spoken to Sylvana often about my mother, her taita in Lebanese, about how she was in person, the things she liked to do, casually adding that she was now a star in the sky. That explanation always seemed to satisfy her, so I never offered any more.

“Why now?” I asked.

“Because I just saw some tombs and I want to see where she is,” she answered.

I looked out my rearview mirror, and saw the old church she was referring to, and the cemetery alongside it filled with ancient-looking stones. I had never taken her to a cemetery and so didn’t know she had made that association with death. “She’s not buried there,” I said. “Besides, I have so many things to do today. We’ll do it another day.”

“No, now!” Was the immediate response. No matter how I tried to reason with her, she wouldn’t budge. “We’ll see,” I finally said, the parent code for no.

We arrived at the store and as soon we stepped out, Sylvana rushed to the pots of flowers lining one of the entrance walls. She picked out a small pot with unusual peach-colored baby roses. “Your mom will like these,” she declared, handing me the pot, and heading towards the entrance.

At this point, I stopped. One of my Mom’s favourite flowers was baby roses. Maybe there was something for me there after all. I also thought it would be a good opportunity to speak about death, to remove the fear surrounding it. In recent months, Sylvana has been asking a lot about death, where we go when we die, wondering if we will die one day, wailing that she doesn’t want us to die. My husband and I explained that we believed that the body may die but that our Spirit goes back to the stars, to always shine. She pressed us, asking why we had to die. All I could think to say at that moment was that we come here to have fun, to grow, to learn; but then it’s time to go back home, no matter how much fun we’ve had. Just like vacation. That seemed to somehow appease her, but I was certain this conversation wasn’t over.

We returned home because Sylvana wanted to draw something for my Mom. By the time she was done, we had seven, small black pieces of paper exploding with vibrant colour, mostly drawings of happy faces and hearts, and one mandala (a drawing inside a circle, typically Tibetan) - “because your Mom doesn’t know what they are.”

We packed our colorful bundle and drove out to the cemetery. It was a lovely afternoon, one of those bright spring days with a hot sun and refreshing breeze. I had the windows down and was listening to Sylvana singing with the radio, marveling at her improved English.

I turned into the cemetery grounds and told her we were here. With the radio off, and the row upon row of tombstones, the mood became decidedly more somber. “There are a lot of tombstones here, mommy. Did all these people die?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered. We drove in silence, weaving through beautifully landscaped gardens and tree canopies.

“Look, mommy,” Sylvana exclaimed. “Angels!”

Every hair on my body stood on end. “Where?” I asked, trying to hide my sudden trepidation with enthusiasm.

“They’re flying everywhere!” she went on. “Can’t you see them?”

I followed her gaze, and understood. The rag weeds, the ones with the fluffy head, were floating all around us. In Spain, they represented angels, and whenever you saw them, it meant that angels were nearby. “I do see them,” I said. “They’re beautiful.”

We followed the angels to my Mom’s tomb. Sylvana ran her little fingers over the stone, reading aloud the words written there. I cleared out dried bits of flowers, making space for the new flowers. Sylvana placed them where she wanted, and then proceeded to explain the order in which her drawings should go. I fastened them with some sticky putty, and then we stood back to admire the final product.

“I’m sorry your Mom is gone,” Sylvana said.

“Me too, honey,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, placing my arm around her shoulders.

“I know her Spirit is not here,” she went on, amazing me, unnerving me, with her clarity. “But do you think she’ll like what we brought her?”

“Oh, I think she will love them,” I said, “and that’s she’s smiling at both of us right now and sending us all her love.”

Sylvana smiled, then started skipping around the nearby fields. She picked some wildflowers and placed them on the tomb, humming a little tune to herself. She walked around the other tombs, admiring the drawings or some aspect that fascinated her. I followed her around, feeling such a sense of peace and calm, as if the angels themselves, or at least one in particular, were surrounding us in their embrace.

I’m sure our conversations about death are far from over, but for now, at least some of the fear is gone, and there is room for an expanded, more beautiful, vision of death to enter.

Death of bin Laden

2011-05-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

With so many world events going on right now, it’s easy to forget that bin Laden was killed a short two weeks ago. I don’t wish to dwell on the details of his life or death because there’s so much information about that. But I do want to spend some time speaking about something which always intrigued me, and that was his call to Jihad, or Holy War.

As an interesting side note, just before I heard about his death, I was reading Deepak Chopra’s novel “Muhammad”. Although it was fiction, much of the information was based on truth, and I found it to be an interesting insight into the Prophet’s life and the message he was trying to convey. So I had the ideas of Islam top of mind at the time.

As most of you know, I am Lebanese and have some basic grasp of the language – beyond ordering hummus and tabbouli. I began to look for the root of the word Jihad, to understand where it came from, and learned that it comes from the word “Jhd” which means to strive, to struggle, to put forth one’s best effort.

To me, that intuitively signaled an inner effort; and I wondered if Jihad was meant to be an inner struggle after all. I’m sure some of my Muslim friends reading this will say that I’m oversimplifying the concept, and will point to texts to support the going to war; but like all holy books, you can always find the parts that most support your point of view.

In the end, I guess it all depends on the eyes through which we choose to see the world.

And if I choose to see the world as a magnificent manifestation of LOVE, even with what appears to be evil or ugly, and that all is happening to bring us closer to that Love, then I will also find texts to support that point of view.

I’ve been on an inner Jihad for a while now, although had never called it by that name. I called it personal growth, confronting my fears, raising my consciousness – but in the end, we’re all talking about the same thing. Changing within so that we can change what is without.

One man saw the world as a place of evil and injustice, acted in consequence, and called that a holy war. He’s not the first. How many of us see the world in a similar way? We may not act in the same manner, but how many small concessions to fear do we make every day? How often do we justify certain behaviours simply because “that’s just how the world is”?

In one of my recent meditations on Jihad, some words came into my mind which I wrote down so I wouldn’t forget. They’re more inspiration than reflection. I hope you enjoy them. With them, I close off this entry.

Arm yourself with courage, with faith and certitude, and direct them towards your inner tyrants, your inner dictator. Declare jihad on the ignorance within you. Declare holy war on the abuser within you. Raze them to the ground, for after their destruction, they need to be fed with what is truly holy, the only force that can rebuild the holy in you - LOVE.

God’s Love. God’s Mercy. Allah.

Allah is great for the love He births inside the heart of each of His children. And that love can only flourish when the inner battle has been won. Your heart is grand enough to accept such a love, and Allah only seeks to manifest His greatness, His love, through that heart. Open it and embrace your Divine birthright. Open it and be free.

Welcome!

2011-05-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

In the early hours of a Tuesday morning in mid-April 2011, I woke up with a start, a fading image of a dream clearly imprinted in my mind. I was looking at the palm of my left hand. Tattooed on it was a six-sided star inside of which sat a Buddha in lotus position, naked from the waist up, eyes closed, a faint smile crossing his lips. Around the star are inscribed the words: “LEAVE THE MOUNTAIN NOW”.

For days, the words and image haunted me. They were clearly a message, but what were they telling me? I meditated upon them, and came to understand that more than a directive, this was an invitation to take a step that perhaps I have been reluctant to take.

I am, by nature, a private person although to others I appear gregarious and extroverted. I tend to reserve my opinions, not wanting to offend; or perhaps more truthfully, not daring to stand out and express what I truly believe.

On the mountain, I’m safe. No one can judge my ideas. I have journals filled with reflections on the goings-on of my everyday life, insights into how to resolve difficult situations and what their higher meaning may be – because ultimately I believe all these experiences do serve a higher purpose, and, for me, that purpose is for the Soul to heal, to use the Universal energy of Love to finally integrate, rather than reject, all those emotional and mental fragments of its Self that no longer serve its growth. As those fragments are transformed into light, room is created for even more Light, more of what is uniquely Divine in each one of us, to shine through.

In that sense, we are all on the same journey, a journey towards Mastery of the Self and its dramas, so that the Soul may manifest in all of its brilliance.

Almost ten years ago, on the heels of 9/11, I embarked on a 5000-kilometre Walk for Peace, following the Way of the Soul to Jerusalem, proclaiming that to change the world, we had to first change ourselves; that to have peace, we had to be peace, and then act in consequence. That journey didn’t end in Jerusalem. I still find nuances in its myriad lessons. The most uncomfortable part of the journey was, and still is, sharing my spiritual beliefs. They too have evolved with time and moved into territory I still struggle to speak about outside the confines of my close circle of friends who, not surprisingly, share those views.

But we must all eventually leave the mountain. And if not now, when? I’ll never feel prepared enough, wise enough, confident enough, or even worthy enough. I’m battling (and trying to love!) the same demons that have always walked alongside me. We each have a unique gift to offer the world, and hiding it serves no one, least of all the Soul. Mine is to speak simply and with authenticity, so that my words awaken a spark in the heart of the reader, and not merely in the mind.

So here goes. In this blog, I will share with you my reflections and experiences in the everyday, how I see the world and interpret all that happens in it. The blog will continue to evolve, as I will, and so I welcome your thoughts and feedback, and will try to incorporate as many of them into my entries as possible.

It is most fitting, not to mention ironic, that I launch this blog on the heels of the announcement of the death of Osama bin Laden, just as his attacks on 9/11 launched my Walk for Peace. Clearly this is a most significant event, one whose implications I am still digesting along with the rest of you. I will be sure to share my reflections soon and hope that you will do the same.

With love and light,

Mony